Your burning questions about boudoir shoots, answered.
I've been behind a camera for almost 21 years, and I will admit to you right now that I stayed away from boudoir for the first ten years of my photography career. There was so much I misunderstood about the genre; so much I assumed about the kinds of people who photographed boudoir, as I had really only seen cishet men operating boudoir studios, and I could not see them doing boudoir photography as a means to empower anybody, just as a way to further sexualize certain bodies.
I DID, however, spend the first year I had a camera taking super sexy photos of my then girlfriend, and she in turn took super sexy photos of me. We did it as something to play at, every time we got together. We were just kids, barely 19, and taking photos of us being playful, sexy, youthful, and exuberant just felt like a great way to capture our spirits. And it was. I look at those photos and I see us exactly as we were: powerful, in love with ourselves, and celebrating that together.
And it's wild that I couldn't put two and two together about boudoir photography for over a decade. That, even if the person behind the camera has less than stellar reasoning for being there, it's the experience of the person being photographed that really matters. Boudoir, at its core, is a bold celebration of our audacity to love ourselves at our most vulnerable and wild.
So if you're like me all those years ago, with burning questions about boudoir photography, or some misconceptions (or both!), read on! Better yet, read on AND reach out to me! I'm happy to answer anything I haven't covered here. These are the most asked questions, not an exhaustive list.
Twenty years later, I will still play around in front of the camera!
Some of our most frequently asked questions are...
What exactly IS boudoir, anyway?
Why do your photos look different from other boudoir photographers I've been looking at?
Do you still follow Covid protocol?
My body is XYZ, I can't do a boudoir shoot...can I?
Do I have to be naked?
Do I bring my own outfits? How many can I bring?
Where do we do this boudoir shoot?
Are you going to edit out my stretch marks or change my body?
Who can I bring to my shoot?
Will my photos be on your website/instagram/social media pages?
I'm ready to book!! What happens next?
Some of our most frequently asked questions are...
What exactly IS boudoir, anyway?
My answer? My second favorite photography style, after mermaids! The universal answer? A genre of photography that is as intimate and suggestive as you want it to be. If you're shy and reserved and only like to hint at your goodies, boudoir is for you! If you're a chaotic sex goblin that prefers the show part of show and tell, boudoir is for you! If you're somewhere in between, boudoir is for you.
Why do your photos look different from other boudoir photographers I've been looking at?
I've thought long and hard about how to define my style. It's a pretty important aspect of being a photographer! I've struggled with belittling myself and my eye...I'm human. I compare my images to the images I see when I google "boudoir" and I don't see anything like what I offer. It was actually a client of mine who snapped me out of it by telling me that she chose me BECAUSE my images don't look the same. I am not providing a cookie cutter experience, and I am certainly not providing cookie cutter images.
But I couldn't figure out how to qualify the difference.
I found cheeky ways to describe myself, my favorite being "low rent bitch with a high end eye", and while that is snappy and makes me laugh, it wasn't an accurate way to describe my style.
It took me a long time to recognize two things about my boudoir style:
One: I cater to the female gaze, which means I shoot in a way that makes my clients active subjects with agency. It has always bothered me that most boudoir shoots I see talk about empowering femmes, but then highlight tits, ass, and poses with lighting that obscure their faces. Don't get me wrong, these photos look gorgeous, there are so many exceptionally talented boudoir photographers doing this kind of work and their clients couldn't be happier. I am not in any way trying to shit on that style, I'm just saying it isn't me. My style is highlighting you as a person. Empowering you...to me...means more than making a sexy spectacle of your taboo bits. Shooting to the female gaze rather than the male gaze is every bit as sexy and empowering;
two: I am absolutely OBSESSED with high end, avante garde, editorial spreads. THAT is my brand. I want you to get your photos and be like, "SHIT, did you rip this out of Vanity Fair???"
Do you still follow Covid protocol?
Yes. And if that bothers you, I am not your photographer. I require a negative covid test 48 hours before our shoot, and the morning of. I will supply the tests at no cost to you. Myself and my assistant will wear a mask during your shoot, and we will practice hand hygiene. If you have booked a package with an H/MUA, they will also be masked. In the event of you contracting covid bfore your shoot, we will reschedule as my schedule allows. We practice community safety and care at Parasol Photography, we only ask that our clients respect our wishes. If we are not for you because of that, we completely understand.
My body is XYZ, I can't do a boudoir shoot...can I?
Not only can you do a boudoir shoot in your body exactly the way it is, but you absolutely should. We are all insecure about our bodies by design: my clients in thin bodies are just as nervous and insecure as my clients in big bodies. Part of the magic of boudoir is how transformative the shoot itself is. It is something that must be experienced to be believed.
Do I have to be naked?
Absolutely not. Boudoir is about you. If you feel your most sensual is a big, cozy sweater and some thick wooly socks, that's your look, you're going to rock it, and your boudoir session will be just as intimate as someone who is all about being as nude as the day they were born. You define your comfort level.
Do I bring my own outfits? How many can I bring?
You sure do! While we may have similar tastes in undies/lingerie/cozy jam jams, you should not be limited to just what I may have on hand. Your shoot is about YOU. You curate the vibe, you show who you are. And for those baddies that feel overwhelmed by choice, let me help! I do have clothing items available in upgraded packages, but by and large, your boudoir shoot is a glorious representation of your intimate aesthetic.
The amount of outfits depends on the package you purchase! Our base shoot is one oufit, one set, but the sky is figuratively the limit. Wow me, babes!
Where do we do this boudoir shoot?
Ooooh, this is where shit gets fun. We have a gorgeous studio in a historic district of St. Louis, but we are not at all limited by our studio, and I promise promise promise I will match your freak. Are you a nature loving baddie that wants something dramatic outside? I've got you, babes. Are you an explorer that wants something raunched up to eleven in an abanadoned wharehouse? Sign me up. In a lake? Gotcha. You tell me where, I'm there.
Are you going to edit out my stretch marks or change my body?
Only if you want me to, and even then, only within natural reason. Our bodies deliciously and beautifully tell our stories and display our triumphs, our mistakes, our changes, our growth. It is not my place to tell you to embrace things like stretch marks, or self harm scars, or anything else on your body that you do not like so if you want those edited out, cool cool. My editing methods are not monolithic: you tell me what you want covered, and we'll figure it out. But I stand firm at not making my clients look like anybody else. I will not thin your thighs, or give you a different bodyshape/waistline.
To read more about how I approach post processing, please visit my page titled "Ethical Editing".
Who can I bring to my shoot?
I completely understand wanting to feel safe and secure during your photoshoot, where you will be photographed in a way that is sensationally scandalous. That's vulnerable and nerve wracking. And hey, I'm autistic: I have my social safety anchors that I treat like my purse, refusing to leave the house without them. So I'll make a deal with you: let's discuss your comfort level and your need. I prefer to work with you one on one, but my job is also to create an environment for you that feels as safe as possible. If that means your bestie is coming along, I'm excited to meet them. My only rule is nobody younger than 21. My studio is adults only.
Will my photos be on your website/instagram/social media pages?
This is 100% up to you. Over the years, I have done shoots of people in high profile positions that do not want their photos featured. I have done shoots of military personnel who can't have their photos featured. I have done shoots for people who are just...shy. And then I've done shoots for people who are like, "FUCK YEAH, MY BODY IS ROCKIN' AND THESE PHOTOS ARE GREAT, PUT ME EVERYWHERE!" Where you fall on this spectrum is your determination, and I will respect your wishes. I touch on this in Boudoir and Representation, which I invite you to read if you haven't already. TL;DR if you want an image of yours to be featured anywhere we spotlight our images, you've got it! If you don't, we won't.
I'm also going to be honest with you...I am moving away from posting on social media. My posts have dwindled significantly in the last few years, and I'm less interested in the upkeep and hustle involved in keeping up social media. I am more focused on ceating things with you that you feel super excited to post if social media is your thing.
I'm ready to book!! What happens next?
Fuck yeah you are, I'm so excited for you! Here's what comes next: you push that fun little button down there...that little pink one...and you send me a message. I'm going to respond, all excited, and then we'll get to work!
Girl...your prices. Woof. Are you for real? I saw someone on FB Marketplace offering boudoir shoots for $100 with 100 images!
I get this all. the. time. I see my fellow photographers get this all the time. And very frankly...go ahead and book with Merv on Facebook Marketplace. Pay your hundred bucks, get your hundred photos back, and we can chat about it after. I'm not out here to hate on Merv, we all start somewhere, and I bet Merv loves what they do as much as I do. But there's a reason I charge what I charge, so let's get into the weeds together and talk about it.
Time before the shoot:
When you book with me, you are not just getting photos. A boudoir shoot with me is a fully immersed experience. We are going to talk about your wants, your needs, your dream shoot, your dream look. We are going to spend time getting to know each other so I can cheer you on, and know when to give you space. We will meet up twice (virtually) before your shoot, and I will guide you through outfit choices. When you invest in yourself booking a shoot with me, I ALSO invest in you. I invest my time, my energy, my creativity, and my knowledge that I have accumulated over my 21 years behind the camera. So much of boudoir is getting in touch with our self worth, and I love this for my clients. But I love this for myself, as well. I know what my skillset is worth.
Time at the shoot:
This is, undoubtedly, my favorite part. Depending on your package, our session will be one hour to three hours long. If you've gotten a package that includes a trusted H/MUA vendor, their time must be paid for, as well. When you arrive, you will be treated like royalty. Let's have a cozy chat together and some tea if you need to unwind because you're more nervous than you thought you would be. We'll visit the sets together, we'll talk poses, and then we'll get started. But as fun as our time together is...and it is...it is still work. I've been doing this a long time, and you are in incredibly experienced hands, but there is a lot that goes into a photoshoot. I am thinking about light. Texture. Pose. Facial expression. Set dressing. Outfit wrangling. Make up tending. I am not just snapping a pic.
Time after the shoot:
Once we're done shooting together, there is still more work to be done. Your photos will be professionally edited by me. I do not outsource this work, I do it myself. I firmly believe in taking the time to speak to each of my clients about their expectations for their photos...what will be edited, what won't be edited, how they want things to look, styles they want to experiment with. I do not just click a filter and consider it editing, and I do not use AI. Our largest image delivery package takes me up to 20 hours of time to process. I am very transparent about my process, and my turnaround time is longer than average because I believe in delivering my client everything myself. Not just because of my work ethic, but because I've already spent so much time getting to know you, that I wouldn't trust anybody else to deliver the luxurious images you expect and deserve.
Frankly, it's fucking rough out there in this economy, and I totally understand wanting to get a luxury experience on a penny pinching budget. Who among us, right? But there is a reason that people in this line of work refer to it as "making an investment". It truly, truly is. And if you cannot afford me right now, I get it. For those of you on a budget, we occasionally do mini sessions! Contact me and I'll get you set up for my email list, and you'll be alerted for our next one. But please, I beg you, do not attempt to undervalue my experience, my expertise, my care, and my time by telling me I need to be less expensive because someone else can take photos on the way way cheap. The experience will differ drastically, I assure you. Again, no hate to the Mervs out there, I was a Merv once, too!